How to break up with a man

first_imgLet’s face it, there are no easy ways to end a relationship. But if you understand what really makes men tick, there are ways to make it a little less horrible when you do it. Here are some insider tips from the mouths of the broken-hearted (and a few love gurus) on how to let a guy down easy. Use them next time you need a send a fella packing, ladies.Be definitive When telling a guy that it is over, be clear that it is absolutely, positively O-V-E-R. “Sometimes, we may be inclined to leave the door open — either to leave options open for ourselves or to soften the blow of the breakup for the other person — but this is dangerous territory,” says April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League. It might seem nice to offer the possibility that one day in the future, you two will possibly find your way back into each other’s arms… but all this does is give the poor guy false hope. And with false hope comes those desperate calls at 3 a.m. asking if you’re ready to take him back yet. “Make it clear that he needs to move on,” says John Seeley, M.A., author of Get Unstuck! The Simple Guide to Restart Your Life. “Guys would rather hear the truth and then know what they need to do to move forward in their lives.” Don’t let him be the last to know your feelings Sure, talking through your feelings with a friend can be helpful when working up the courage to break things off, but try to limit yourself to how many people hear the test run of your dumping speech ahead of time. Eventually, someone is going to tattle, and as any guy will tell you, being the last to know that you’ve been dumped is not fun. “My best friend told me that he heard my girlfriend was thinking of breaking up with me,” says 32-year-old Dave from Long Island, NY. “I later found out that all of my friends knew before I did. I was so angry and humiliated. I felt like the biggest fool on earth, walking around telling everyone how in love I was, and all of them knowing she was about to give me the boot. It was the worst.”Don’t do it online The Internet is great for many things: locating discount airfares, paying credit card bills, wasting hundreds of hours looking at weird sites; the list goes on and on. But one thing that is not on that list (and never should be) is dropping a boyfriend like a bad habit. “My ex dumped me twice online,” says Chris, 31, from Washington, MO. “Once by email after we’d spent the weekend together; the second time, she did it over IM. At least ‘woman up’ and tell me in person!” Seriously, canceling a relationship like you would a credit card will put you in his Worst Girlfriend Hall of Fame for life. “Voicemail, emails, Post-its and IMs are not cool ways to break up,” says Masini. “If you’ve spent more than three dates with the guy, you owe him a face-to-face sit-down discussion.” If you’re totally scared to do that, the phone can be an acceptable termination device — but only for short-term relationships.Steer clear of using fake excuses OK, you don’t have to tell someone point-blank that he is no longer worth your time, but lying your way out of a relationship is almost always going to backfire. He’ll feel twice as bad when he learns the truth, and you’ll feel like a jerk for doing it. “I went out a few times with this woman, and we talked a few times afterward,” says John, 34, from Virginia. “She worked as a government contractor at a submarine base and told me she’d been accepted to a top-secret program in Arizona that would last at least six months. Long story short: she was lying, and I bumped into her just a month later. And this was after we had a conversation about how awful it was that people couldn’t be honest!” If you want either one of you to maintain your dignity, tell him the truth. You don’t have to be brutally honest, though. “I just don’t feel a connection with you” is a perfectly good way of saying, “You are too busy for me” or “I didn’t know someone could kiss that badly.”Be brief in your explanation “Keep it short and sweet,” urges Stephany Alexander, relationship expert at Unless you’ve been together for years and years, no breakup speech should last more than 30 minutes. You don’t need to give him every reason you want to end things; instead, just name one or two major problems and be done with it. The last thing you want is having him interpret your litany of ways he’s failed you romantically as a list of things he can change in order to win you back. Make it clear that this isn’t a negotiation. It may seem cruel to be brusque about it, but like ripping off a Band-Aid, the faster you do it, the faster you’ll feel better.Avoid feeding any drama A man with wounded pride and hurt feelings can get verbally abusive sometimes, so try to defuse the situation with silence. “Don’t engage with him,” says Masini. “Listen. Be quiet. Don’t respond.” Don’t fuel the fire by defending yourself. Let him get it all out, then leave. If you’re worried that the guy might hurt himself or someone else in the wake of your breakup, call a counselor or a police officer. Trying to take on a dangerous situation by yourself is just that — dangerous.Secure a breakup buddy “Breaking up can be overwhelming,” says Masini, “and it may cause you to want to call your ex for contact or comfort. After you break up, have plans to meet with a friend. Debrief over lunch and a movie.” Remove his number from your cell phone while you’re at it. Post-breakup conversations tend to lead to post-breakup reunions, and next thing you know, you’re having brunch together and wondering how the heck you wound up with this guy again. If you want to touch base to see how he’s doing, give it a couple of months at least. If he’s still sweet on you, any contact (no matter how innocent) is going to be interpreted as a ray of hope that love will spring again.By Dan BovaYAHOO dating Tips and Advice Sharing is caring! Share Tweet LifestyleRelationships How to break up with a man by: – January 18, 2012center_img Share Share 48 Views   no discussionslast_img read more

‘Free Community Document Shredding’ event planned to celebrate 30 years of business RESCHEDULED!

first_imgThe Paul Ehrman Insurance Agency in Batesville will hold a free “Community Document Shredding Event” Saturday, April 21, from 10 to noon. The event is part of the 30th anniversary of doing business in southeastern Indiana. The office is located at 1750 East State Road 46 in Batesville.last_img

Tropical Depression Forms in the Atlantic

first_imgTropical depression number 10 has formed over the central tropical Atlantic and it is heading toward the Northern Leeward Islands. The system could become Tropical Storm Imelda later today.The National Hurricane Center says it is too soon to tell if the system will affect South Florida by next week.SUMMARY OF 1100 AM AST…1500 UTC…INFORMATION———————————————–LOCATION…12.9N 44.9WABOUT 1165 MI…1870 KM ESE OF THE LEEWARD ISLANDSMAXIMUM SUSTAINED WINDS…35 MPH…55 KM/HPRESENT MOVEMENT…WNW OR 295 DEGREES AT 12 MPH…19 KM/HMINIMUM CENTRAL PRESSURE…1007 MB…29.74 INCHESWATCHES AND WARNINGS——————–There are no coastal watches or warnings in effect.Interests in the Northern Leeward Islands should monitor theprogress of this system.last_img read more

Russia rejects Sochi doping claims

first_imgA former laboratory chief, Grigory Rodchenkov, has made extensive claims, including that urine samples were switched to ensure athletes tested clean.The World Anti Doping Agency says it will consider re-testing if necessary.last_img

Cell Service Reliability Along Ocean Ave. To Be Surveyed

first_imgBy Liz Sheehan |SEA BRIGHT – The Borough Council has approved a resolution giving the go-ahead to Verizon Wireless and the borough’s engineer, T&M Associates, to conduct a survey to determine where network nodes, or mini-antennas, could be placed on utility poles to improve cell service in portions of the borough where reception is poor.Verizon has a temporary cell tower behind Borough Hall and is in the process of installing a permanent tower there.Frank Lawrence, administrative assistant for special projects for the borough, said Tuesday that no formal action was taken to approve the proposal to install the nodes. The resolution only allows Verizon to develop a plan and submit it to the mayor and council, he said.Lawrence said the idea for a proposal came out of a meeting with a number of utilities concerning improving resiliency in towns like the borough in case of storms and to plan for growth in cell service use.He said some people have problems with their cell service now and the problems increase in the summer when there are more cars, boats and people in the town using cell service.Councilman Charles Rooney III, who lives in the North Beach section of the town near Sandy Hook, said residents in his area and other sections of the town keep land lines to use in case of an emergency because the cell service is unreliable.He said he pays extra to have a land line. “If there is an emergency, I don’t want to pick up a cell phone and get no service,” Rooney said. He also said he has been on the phone in the downtown area and lost cell service.Rooney said he has been told that having the ocean and river bordering the borough causes the problems with cell service. Councilman John Lamia Jr. also said the bodies of water surrounding the town affect cell reception.And he questioned if the temporary tower is helping reception. Lamia said he would like to test the tower by checking cell signal strength through the number of bars on his phone and then having the tower turned off temporarily to recheck signal strength.Chris Doxey, who lives on Church Street in the downtown area, said when she speaks to her neighbor across the street for around 15 minutes the cell phone goes out several times. “I’m always afraid I will lose my call,” she said. “It’s very, very annoying.”She said she uses her land line for any communication with banks, the Social Security Administration, or other calls where she doesn’t want to risk having the call dropped. Doxey said the cell phone usually works for calls to her daughter, who lives in another state, but to be safe she uses her land line for calls to her that are important.“I don’t get any cell service in here,” said Ann Quinn, who works in Alice’s Kitchen on Ocean Avenue near Church Street.“That would be great if they would put something on the poles” to improve the service, she said.The New Jersey State League of Municipalities has issued a report to guide municipalities concerning the installation of wireless systems, such as the nodes proposed by Verizon.Michael Darcy, the executive director of the group, said Tuesday that if a municipality approves the installation of the nodes by a company they should “set the ground rules to apply to everybody.”Examples of regulations that could be in the approval are how many nodes can be installed per block, or how many poles may be installed within a certain distance so as not to create a cluster of poles. Another possible regulation, he said, would be limiting the height of poles that might be installed to hold the nodes.If there are no regulations set for the company that places the first installation of the nodes, he said, the municipalities would not be able to set rules for subsequent installations by other companies.David Weissmann, a spokesperson for Verizon Wireless, said Tuesday that there are nodes now in Long Branch, Eatontown and Matawan.This article was first published in the Oct. 26-Nov. 2, 2017 print edition of the Two River Times.last_img read more

A New Sensory Playground is Coming to Dorbrook Park

first_imgFortunately, they committed to the project and the fundraising ball began to roll. “We started coming up with different grants and fundraisers. We just started grinding. I spoke at churches and businesses, $100 here, a thousand there,” he said. The money raised by the Lions was presented to the Friends of the Monmouth County Parks, which acts as the intermediary between outside organizations and the Monmouth County Park System on projects like the Sensory Den. With the help of grants and the support of the community, the Lions Club raised $140,000 to fund the project. At 10 a.m. Aug. 22 members of the Colts Neck Lions Club and the Friends of the Monmouth County Parks will gather at Dorbrook Park to break ground on the Sensory Lions’ Den, a playground that will be open to all children but has been specially designed for kids with visual impairments. The idea for the playground began with Justin Lotano, Colts Neck Lions Club president, and his wife Christina, as they sat on their sofa at home one night discussing possible projects the Lions Club could pursue. The closest such playground in New Jersey was at the St. Joseph’s School for the Blind in Jersey City, where sensory cues in theplayground provide visually impaired kids with the freedom to play. Justin Lotano paid them a visit. “I learned how important it is for children to be able to have the confidence to play on equipment that other children are playing on,” he said. The playground will also feature musical instruments like large xylophones, drums that make different sounds and a game that plays different animal sounds when kids push its buttons. There will also be button-activated misting columns. By Eileen Moon The central piece of the Sensory Den will be a global motion dome. “You can grab onto it and get inside it and it spins,” Lotano said. The international philanthropic organization has long been known for its work on behalf of blind and visually impaired children and adults around the world, scheduling vision screenings, repairing and distributing eyeglasses, and funding research and treatment of eye diseases. He then presented his proposal to the Monmouth County Park System, meeting with officials and park administrators to ask them to consider building a sensory playground at Dorbrook Park. The park on Route 537 has had a playground designed for children with disabilities called the Challenger Place playground for the past 15 years, but it didn’t address specific visual challenges. Spinning on the Global Motion playground feature improves posture and balance. Photo courtesy Colts Neck Lions “It’s been a refreshing thing for the whole club,” Lotano said. “Our membership has doubled.” So Lotano went back to his fellow Lions Club members and asked them to raise the $125,000 necessary to fund the construction of the playground. “We are excited to assist them in bringing this project to fruition,” said Maria Wojciechowski, executive director of the Friends of the Monmouth County Park System. “I spoke with the park system last week and they are in process. We expect it to open in October.” If all of that sounds like fun, the good news is that while the playground is designed to be accessible for kids with visual impairments, it’s also designed to provide fun for all kids. But to the Lotanos, creating a playground where visually impaired kids could have the kind of fun that every child needs, was paramount. As the Lotanos’ idea began to gather steam, Justin Lotano set to work exploring what type of equipment was available, what costs were involved and what obstacles would have to be overcome in order to make the sensory playground a reality in Monmouth County. Lotano traveled to St. Joseph’s School for the Blind with an architect for the park system. Once the county had all the facts, Lotano said, it agreed to the project. “Once we got the county on board, it was just a matter of figuring out how to come up with the money,”Lotano said. “Our ultimate goal is to bring all the children together,” Lotano said. COLTS NECK – Thanks to a group of people united by a common vision, kids with visual impairments will no longer have to sit on the sidelines while other kids are having fun on the playground at Dorbrook Park. Colts Neck Lions Club members, from left, Andrew Lotano, Justin Lotano, John Sakoutis and John Grabovski. Photo courtesy Colts Neck Lions “This is a club that normally raises $10,000 a year,” Lotano said. “You can imagine the looks on their faces.” “My wife came up with the idea,” Lotano said. Initially, the Lotanos weren’t sure if such a thing even existed. They soon found out that it did. The Friends of the Monmouth County Parks will thank the Colts Neck Lions Club for its donation at a wine and craft beer tasting to take place at Tatum Park in Middletown Sept. 19. Contact for more information.last_img read more